


Newsies In High School!

by orphan_account



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Disabled Character, Canon Jewish Character, F/F, F/M, Gay, Like he's always there, M/M, SPECS IS PANGENDER SPREAD THE WORD, Swearing, also get ready for davey trying to flirt with spot, and spot being confused, and they're all theatre nerds, anyways they/them for specs, blink is on the cheer team, crutchie is half jewish, crutchie is the most active one on the groupchat, davey and sarah go to summer camp, everyone is my son, everyones gay, for those who don't know pan gender basically means having all of the gender, get ready for nesbians, he is beautiful and my son, i will take jewish davey to my grave, ike is in the robotics club, mush is on the football team, okay so basically every newsie is here, part groupchat but also not, right sorry forgot to say the delanceys are homophobic and theres also some swearing, sarah is super gay, so is katherine, theres a lot of untold history here ill explain more as it goes on, they're the gsa, theyre all gay, this is my first fic so sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 19:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 9,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14775593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When David and Sarah Jacobs start their first day of senior year at Manhattan High, they have no idea what they're in for. (I suck at summarys sorry it's basically a bunch of gay newsies in high school) (Also if you don't read the tags there is a bit of swearing and some homophobia)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fic, so please enjoy!

Davey

  
I’m excited for my first day of senior year, I guess. I’m at a new school, Manhattan High, but I’m excited to get a fresh start. Maybe even make some friends. I walk through the gates of the outdoor school, clutching the handles of my backpack. My twin sister Sarah walks next to me, babbling about some anime she's been watching. We walk to the front office first, planning on getting a map so we can find our classes easier. I open the door to the office building and walk up to the desk. There is a secretary sitting at the front desk, busily typing on a computer. The plaque on the desk says “Ms. Hannah”.  
“Um, excuse me. Could I have a map? I’m new here.” I ask the red haired secretary, and she sighs, opening a desk drawer and handing me a map of the school.  
“Here you go.” She says in a pinched accent.  
“Thank you.” I leave the office, staring down at the map. Sarah has not stopped talking. I find room 601, the theatre classroom, and stand outside the door, pulling my novel out of my bag and resuming from where I’d left off.  
"You're seriously reading, David? We have our first theatre class here in less than five minutes! Aren't you excited?" Sarah says, pulling my book away. "Yes, I'm reading." I say exasperatedly, grabbing my book back from her. “You two new?” I hear a voice ask. I look up and and see a tall boy with a newsboy cap covering his dark hair, a blue long sleeve shirt, and a grey vest over it. I notice he has a thick New York accent.  
“Uh, yeah.” I respond. Someone is talking to me? I can’t believe it! I’ve always been sort of quiet and nerdy, so no one really approached me to start a conversation before.  
“The name’s Jack Kelly.” The boy says, spitting in his hand and extending it to shake.  
“Uh, what?” I ask, confused at his wet hand.  
“It’s what we do in my group. Uh, sorry.” He says hastily, wiping his hand off on his pants and extending it again.  
“Okay… I’m David.” I say, taking his hand and pumping it twice. My dad always said a strong handshake was the best way to make a good first impression.  
“Nice ta meet ya Davey.” Jack says, smiling. I’m shocked that he’s developed a nickname for me so quickly. "I'm Sarah." Sarah spits in her hand, Jack spits in his again, and they shake. I roll my eyes. “If ya want, I can introduce ya ta ma friends and you’se can sit with us at lunch.” Jack offers.  
“Oh, uh, thank you. That would be really nice, Jack.” I reply, shocked at this sudden friendship.  
“Ey, Crutchie!” Jack suddenly shouts across the hallway. A boy with blond hair is running up to Jack, a huge smile on his face. Or, speed walking I should say. The boy has a crutch under his right arm, and his right leg hangs limply, dragging against the ground. This doesn’t seem to slow him down much though. He and Jack embrace, and I stand there awkwardly while they start talking about their summers. Sarah however, butts right into their conversation.  
"Art camp sounds so cool, Jack!" She exclaims. "David and I went to a summer camp we go to every year. We got to be counselors in training." “That's cool." Jack smiles. "OH and uh, this is Crutchie. Crutchie, this is Sarah and Davey. They'se new.”  
“Hi Sarah, hi Davey!” Crutchie says enthusiastically.  
“Nice to meet you. The name Crutchie doesn’t, uh, offend you?” I ask.  
“Nah. I like it. I wear it kinda like a badge of honor.” He says, beaming at Jack. “Although if you want you can jus’ call me Charlie.” Crutchie too has a thick accent, and he seems to be a very optimistic person. A few more of Jack’s friends show up, a black haired ethnically ambiguous junior named Romeo, a blond boy with a lollipop sticking out of his mouth called Race (who Jack introduces as his brother, although they look nothing alike), and a tall, smiling brown haired boy named JoJo. I discover that nicknames are very popular among Jack and his friends. The bell to start first period rings, and we go into the theatre classroom. More kids start showing up late, but Jack doesn’t introduce me because the theatre teacher is giving a sort of speech. The teacher, who asks me to call her Miss Medda, is very welcoming, and announces that for the first day we’ll be doing scene starters. Scene starters are tiny slips of paper, all jumbled in a trick-or-treating pumpkin bucket, with two person scene prompts. We are told to partner up, and Jack immediately links arms with me. Although Crutchie looks disappointed at this, he gladly partners up with a pretty girl with red haired curls. Race partners with the red headed boy whose lap he is sitting on, Romeo with a tall person with a tall blond kid with thin rimmed circular glasses, and JoJo with a boy with dark skin and the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. Sarah surprises me by picking a short boy with curly dark brown hair, tan skin, and large, threatening muscles. He's really hot. Everyone goes up to pick a scene, and Jack lets me pull out ours.

Two siblings are arguing over a lie they told their parents. Sibling one has never lied before, and wants to admit the lie to their parents. Sibling two is fine with lying, and wants to keep the lie a secret from their parents.

“Perfect!” Jack exclaims, rubbing his hands together. “Who do you want to be?”  
“Uh, I’ll be sibling one.” I say. Miss Medda gives us two minutes to plan, and when Jack and I are talking and rehearsing, I can hear the other loud groups around us. I can hear Crutchie saying, “It’s fine, Katherine, we’ll just improv!” and the red-haired girl who I’m assuming is Katherine say back, “But we need to plan! I can write a script!”. At one point I think I hear someone shout “Oregano!” but I’m really not sure. When the two minutes are up, Jack volunteers us to go first. We take the stage, and Miss Medda turns off the classroom lights and turns on the lights set up for the small classroom stage. I can’t see the audience, which helps ease my anxiety. Our scene runs smoothly, and I can hear people laugh at Jack’s jokes. I can tell he’s a popular kid. When we finish our scene, everyone applauds, and I’m actually really proud of myself. Theatre has always excited me, and getting such a rousing round of applause on my first day makes me feel happy. Crutchie and Katherine go next, and they do a scene where Crutchie ordered food in a restaurant and Katherine is taking forever to bring it to him. He slips in a lot of jokes, one of them mentioning that “Brooklyn could bring me my burger faster”. At the end, Crutchie is grinning and Katherine is smiling lightly. They come sit down next to me and Jack. Race practically jumps out of his seat volunteering to go next, and he and the red-haired boy quickly adjust the table that had been on the stage for Crutchie’s and Katherine’s scene. Race puts the scene starter bucket, a book, and a pencil cup on the table. Red-haired boy walks off stage to get ready for his entrance. Miss Medda dims the lights and brings them up again to start the scene. Race is looking down at the book (he still has that lollipop in his mouth?), and red-haired boy enters through the door on the side of the stage.  
“We’se have an order for the beef stew.” Red-haired boy says, now standing next to Race behind the table.  
“Great! Let’s get started, Albert!” Race says happily. The two both start pretending to put things in the bucket, which I assume they mean to be a stew pot.  
“Hey, are we supposed to add oregano?” Race asks Albert, looking down at the book.  
“No. It’s not in the recipe.”  
“Well, I think we need to add oregano.”  
“No! We’se not supposed to!”  
“Well, I say we add it! It’ll taste better!”  
“No! The customer don’t want it!”  
“Lemme just add a little!” Race demands, reaching for the pencil cup.  
“No!” Albert asserts, smacking Race’s hand away. “No oregano!”  
“Yes oregano!” The two are practically shouting now, and everyone is laughing.  
“We’se is not adding any oregano.” Albert says firmly.  
“Fine.” Race sighs. He then gets a mischievous look on his face. “Hey Albert, can you go check in the back and see if we’se got anymore salt?”  
“Sure thing Racer.” Albert replies, leaving the table. While Albert has his back turned, Race takes the pencil cup and starts shaking it vigorously above the bucket. When Albert turns around, Race put the pencil cup back down.  
“We don’t have anymore salt.”  
“That’s okay. I thinks it’s ready anyways.” Race replies, grinning.  
“Perfect! I’se is gonna go take it out to the customer.” Albert says, picking up the bucket and exiting offstage. Race wait for a moment, and Albert rushes back on, still carrying the bucket.  
“Racer! You put in oregano!” He accuses.  
“I did not!”  
“Yes you did! The customer just said there was too much oregano! I know it was you!” The scene continued on for a while, but it was mostly more shouting about oregano. When they finally finish, we give them a standing ovation. More groups go, and they are all really funny, especially with Jack keeping up a running commentary. Jack and I have different classes next (I have AP Lit and he has Art) but I discover I have AP Lit with Katherine. We walk to room 544 together, talking about theatre and writing. AP Lit seems to go by fast (all Mr. Hearst does is hand out syllabi and read the whole thing out loud, explaining each section), and then it’s time for third period. I have Calculus, and discover Race is in it with me. I guess I didn’t quite peg him as the “math” type of guy. He has another lollipop in his mouth (a different one this time?) and I’m tempted to ask him why. I do, and his answer is, “Better than a cigarette, am I right, Dave?”. I can’t argue with that. He extends Jack’s invitation to come sit with them at lunch, and I accept. When Calculus is over I walk with him to the outdoor lunch tables. There are a few rows of rectangular tables all under a blue overhang, but the one where Jack and his friends sit is two rectangles pushed together to make one big square. There are a lot of people, I see all the people he introduced me to in theatre, and many more. Sarah is talking animated with Katherine, gesturing her hands wildly as she rants. Jack takes me around the whole table, introducing me to everyone. They are all really friendly and welcoming, and I’m elated that I’ve made friends so fast. It’s about halfway through lunch when I really realize what I’ve gotten into though. Two boys walk by, brothers by the looks of them, and that’s when things get interesting.  
“As president of the GSA, I raise the motion that Race goes and does something flamboyant for the Delanceys.” Jack announces, standing on the bench. Race immediately jumps to the opportunity, and makes a beeline for the brothers.  
“Well hello, hello, hello! Lookin’ hot today Morris!” Race says flirtatiously to the brother with ruffled brown hair, caressing his cheek. I notice Albert sitting next to me look away distastefully.  
“Get away from us!” The blond brother says, shoving Race away slightly.  
“Why, Oscar, I’se is flattered, but I was asking your brother! Maybe next time though!” He winks at the blond one. “What do you say Mo?” Race leans closer to the brunette.  
“Shove off, Racer.” Morris snarls.  
“Well whatever happened to romance?” Race teases, coming back to the table, laughing his head off.  
“Wonderful job, Secretary Of State.” Jack says to Race, patting him on the back.  
“You guys are in the GSA?” I ask Jack. Everyone laughs.  
“We are the GSA.” Crutchie says.  
“You okay with that?” Jack asks.  
“Yeah. I’m pan.” I reply. I guess my gaydar works after all.  
“Nice! I’se is bi as hell, Crutchie and Race are both just gay as fuck, and I could continue listing off everyone and their place in the LGBTQ community, but then we’d be here all day, so let’s just say everyone to some extent is gay.” Jack says.  
“And those brothers?” I ask hesitantly.  
“Morris and Oscar, the Delancey brothers.” Race says, smirking. “We make it our job to enforce our gayness on them.”  
“And why?” I ask., and at the same time Sarah says, "Sounds fun."  
“It is fun.” Race says simply, sitting back down in Albert’s lap.  
We continue making conversation for the rest of lunch, and then the bell rings. The rest of the school day passes by fairly quickly, and I’m excited to get home and tell my parents I found a friend group. At the end of the day, I go to the student parking lot and start up my old minivan. Sarah plops down in the passenger seat. The car is a hand-me-down from my mom, but at least I have a car. I drive home and park in my usual spot in the driveway. I open the front door and am immediately greeted by my little brother, Les.  
“David! Sarah!” He shouts excitedly, jumping up and down.  
“What’s up Les?” I ask, stepping across the doorstep and touching my hand to the mezuzah.  
“My first day of school was great! I met a girl named Sally!” He exclaims, following me as I walk into the kitchen to get a snack.  
"I met a girl too!" Sarah high-fives Les. “That’s great Les!” I say, smiling, and grab an apple from the fridge.  
“How was your first day?” He asks me.  
“It was good, little bro.”  
“Did you make any friends?”  
“Yeah. A boy named Jack and his friends.” I’m heading to my room now, knowing Les will follow. I go down the hallway and push open my door. I set down my backpack on the floor and flop down on my bed, not wanting to start my homework immediately. Les and I talk for a bit more, but eventually I tell him I need to do my homework. It’s ten at night when I finally finish, but I go to sleep happy.


	2. In the groupchat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the newsies groupchat!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, most of the contact names are obvious but I'll list them anyways.
> 
> Santa Feeeeeee: Jack  
> gaygaygaygay: Crutchie  
> DaveyJacobs: Davey  
> LesbianLordAndSavior: Sarah  
> yer erster: Race  
> Alastor Moody: Albert  
> S P O T: Spot  
> Writing Queen: Katherine  
> CAW CAW BIOTCH: Finch  
> button_me_up: Buttons  
> comeatmebro: Smalls  
> snipey: Sniper  
> theresaholeinthebucket: Henry  
> jojojojojojojojojo: JoJo  
> yIKEs: Ike  
> mikey mouse: Mike  
> blindboi: Specs  
> whereforeartthou: Romeo  
>  
> 
> I'll add more as I go

Santa Feeeeeee added DaveyJacobs to “seize that day”  
Santa Feeeeeee: hey guys i added davey and sarah  
yer erster: heeeeeeeeey gayyyyss  
DaveyJacobs: Hi everyone! Thank you for adding me to your groupchat! I’m really happy to have such nice friends.  
LesbianLordAndSavior: sup bros jojojojojojojojojo: yoyo what up  
gaygaygaygay: hiiiiiii welcome to hellllll  
blindboi: yep this is the plcae of 500 mesages a day  
yer erster: lolololololololol specs cant type  
whereforeartthou: 1 attached image  
jojojojojojojojojo: i hate that pic of me  
yer erster: wow u know hes serious cuz jojo hates nothin  
button_me_up: yeah the only thing jojo hates is hatin things  
jojojojojojojojojo: thats not true i love henry  
theresaholeinthebucket: thats right biotches and i love jojo too!!!  
gaygaygaygay: GAYDAR ALERT WE HAVE AN ALERT OF HOMOSEXUALITY ON MY CHRISTIAN SERVER GAYS GAYS GAYS  
Writing Queen: wow crutchie okaaaaaaaay  
gaygaygaygay: oN mY CHriStIaN sERvEr  
Santa Feeeeeee: crutchie name one person here who is actually christian  
jojojojojojojojojo: um me do you forget i was literally raised in a church by nuns  
Santa Feeeeeee: ok so name someone except for jojo the perfect catholic church boy  
jojojojojojojojojo: i mean im hardly the perfect catholic church boy tho im pretty damn gay and the one who caused the christian server to explode  
Santa Feeeeeee: see crutchie no one here cares about your “CHriStIaN sERvEr”  
Santa Feeeeeee: and crutchie you dont even care arent you jewish  
gaygaygaygay: half jewish  
LesbianLordAndSavior: we're Jewish!!!!!!  
DaveyJacobs: HAPPY JEWISH FAMILY LesbianLordAndSavior: lol button_me_up: i don't understanddddddd LesbianLordAndSavior: its a thing from our summer camp yIKEs: are we all ignorin the fact that jojo saying he loves henry didnt make sense after buttons said jojo hated nothing that only proved buttonss point  
yer erster: whatver i dont need your laws of physics  
mikey mouse: I MISSED THE WHOLE CONVERSATION THANKS DO NOT DISTURB  
mikey mouse: that was sarcastic btw  
mikey mouse: im actually upset that i missed the whole convo  
mikey mouse: and now im here no one else will respond of course  
gaygaygaygay: hey mike whatsup  
mikey mouse: im doin okay  
gaygaygaygay: thats great ise watching yuri on ice again and trying not to cry  
LesbianLordAndSavior: I LOVE YURI ON ICE DaveyJacobs: I’m watching The Office!! #JimandPam  
gaygaygaygay: yeeeeeeeeet!!!!! i love the offiice!!!!!  
Santa Feeeeeee: watchin parks and rec  
yer erster: albie and i are bingin queer eye!!!!  
gaygaygaygay: QUEER EYE IS SO GOOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!  
DaveyJacobs: I watched Queer Eye too! I actually watched it with my whole family, and it really helped them after I came out.  
LesbianLordAndSavior: and when i came out toooooo Santa Feeeeeee: that is awesome!  
S P O T: i was gonna watch it ith my fam, but my LOSER BROTHER JACK watched it all the day it came out  
DaveyJacobs: Jack you have another brother? Did I meet him today?  
Santa Feeeeeee: he's the short one  
LesbianLordAndSavior: yeah he was my scene partner DaveyJacobs: oh the hot one S P O T: cfhcfxdjskfleawooakaklqmdecromw, Santa Feeeeeee: anyways spot didnt sit with us today cause who knows why  
comeatmebro: he already got lunch detention with hearst for disturbing the class  
DaveyJacobs: Who is comeatmebro?  
comeatmebro: smalls  
DaveyJacobs: Right the small angry lesbian  
Santa Feeeeeee: no truer words have ever been said  
snipey: im sniper smalls’ girlfriend  
snipey: i wasnt at lunch 2day but hi  
DaveyJacobs: hi  
CAW CAW BIOTCH: hey guys its finch  
button_me_up: hey finch  
CAW CAW BIOTCH: hey buttons  
gaygaygaygay: get a room  
CAW CAW BIOTCH: i should say the same of you and jack  
gaygaygaygay: …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Just FYI Medda adopted Jack, Spot, Race, and Smalls so yeah


	3. Chapter 3

Jack

I’m sitting in English class, bored out of my skull. Most of the group has English together, except for Katherine and Davey, who have AP Lit together. We’re being given a lecture on Shakespeare from Mr. Reid, but no one is paying attention. Racer and Albert are staring at each other from their desks, Finch and Elmer are playing Tic Tac Toe, and Specs and Crutchie are passing notes back and forth. I'm drawing Davey, not registering anything the teacher is saying. I like to draw all my friends, and since Davey has only been here for a few weeks I’ve only drawn him a few times. I'm finishing up his eyes when Mr. Reid passes out the homework. I finish the drawing and pack up my binder and pencil case. I keep holding the drawing, intending to give it to Davey at lunch, which is next. The bell rings, and we all head to our lunch table.

“All I’se is sayin’ is, why da’ we need Shakespeare?” Race demands, a tootsie pop sticking out of his mouth as usual. He used to always have cigarettes, but me and all the fellas made him quit.

“Then what would we’se all call Romeo?” Elmers points out, laughing.

“I guess you’se is right.” Race grumbles. We reach the table, and I take my usual place between Crutchie and Davey.

“Ey, Dave, this is for you.” I say to Davey, handing him my sketch from English class.

“Wow! Thanks Jack! This is amazing!” He says excitedly, staring at the drawing. I smile at him and pull my Avengers lunch bag out of my satchel. Shut up. The Avengers are cool. I spill the contents of my lunch out onto the table, a peanut butter sandwich, an apple, pretzels, and a granola bar. Everyone always swaps lunches, and at this point everyone knows everyone else’s favorites. Today Crutchie has a pastrami sandwich on rye bread, a sour deli pickle, goldfish, one of those bags of tiny muffins, and a capri-sun. Henry immediately grabs the sandwich and pickle, leaving his turkey one behind. Crutchie passes the turkey sandwich onto me, and I hand him my peanut butter one.

“Do you want my blueberry muffins?” Crutchie asks, picking up the blue and white package.

“Nah, I don’t really feel like ‘em.” I reply.

“Then tell me what you do want.” Crutchie says.

“Can’t you see it in my eyes?” I ask, leaning in close to Crutchie, flirting hard. I’ve liked Crutchie for ages now, but it’s definitely very awkward when you fall in love with your best friend. We’ve been friends since we was little, having sleepovers at Crutchie’s house, making tons of inside jokes, normal best friend things. I jokingly flirt with all of my friends, so it’s usually laughed off, but whenever I get close to Crutchie to jokingly make a corny pickup line, I can’t help but get the overwhelming urge to kiss him. Crutchie blushes when I say it, but I really can’t tell if that means he likes me back or if he’s playing along with the joke. I’m suddenly aware that I’m still very close to Crutchie, so close in fact, that I can feel him breathing, and everyone around us has gotten quiet. The awkward tension is broken by an announcement over the intercom.

“Jack Kelly and the Jacobs twins to the front office.” Ms. Hannah, the school receptionist says over the loudspeaker in her pinched accent. I toss my pretzels to Romeo and quickly start eating my sandwich, all while pulling away from Crutchie and swinging my satchel over my shoulder. Davey and Sarah stand up too, and I can tell Davey's nervous. He’s the type of kid that never gets in trouble, but the fact that got called with me makes it pretty obvious we’re in trouble. Sarah looks indifferent. We start walking over to to the main office building together, and I finish up my sandwich on the way. I notice Davey is hyperventilating a little, so I try to calm him down.

“Ey, Dave, it’s fine. We’se is probably not in trouble. At least, you probably isn’t.” Davey nods, and I can tell he isn’t exactly in the “talking” mood. I hold open the door for him and Sarah and we step inside the office.

“How ya doin’ today Ms. Hannah?” I ask the school secretary, tipping my cap to her.

“Flattery will not help you today, Mr. Kelly.” She replies, not even looking up from her computer.

“Worth a shot.” I say, taking a seat on one of the chairs lined up against the office wall. Davey sits down next to me, and Sarah next to him, but I can tell how tense Davey is. We sit in awkward silence for a few minutes, and eventually the principal, Mr. Pulitzer, steps out of his office door.

“David, Sarah.” He says, gesturing for Davey and Sarah to follow ‘im. The twins stand up and hesitantly follow Mr. Pulitzer into his office. I’m is alone with my thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically, Mr. Pulitzer doesn't want the Jacobs hanging out with Jack because in his eyes Jack is just some troublemaking student. Davey surprises himself by telling Mr. Pulitzer he does't care. Sarah is proud of her twin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been posting quite a few things lately idk why but here's a short Davey chapter

Davey

I’ve never gotten in trouble at school my whole life, and I’m worried that Mr. Pulitzer called my parents. I take a deep breath as I sit down in the chair facing Mr. Pulitzer’s desk. Sarah sits down next to me.

“So, first off, you are not in trouble.” Mr. Pulitzer says in his deep voice. I instantly let out a sigh of relief. “I called you here so I could ask about how well you are adjusting to Manhattan High.”

“I’m adjusting well, sir. I like it here.” I respond quickly.

"It's cool." Sarah says.

“Good, good.” He says, although his tone of voice suggests he feels otherwise. “I know a certain Jack Kelly has befriended you. And I must say, with your transcripts, that surprises me. Both straight A students friends with a troublemaking rebel? I wouldn’t have guessed it. Now let me just say, although I can’t control who you choose to be friends with, I strongly advise you steer clear of Mr. Kelly. He is the type of person that could ruin your permanent record.” I’m not sure what to say. He has caught me by surprise, and I really have no idea how to respond. Good thing Sarah is here.

"We're not ditching our friends just because you tell us to." Sarah says.

"Ms. Jacobs, I would advise you to be a bit politer." Mr. Pulitzer says threateningly.

“Mr. Pulitzer, sir, thank you for the advice, but I think for now we'll be staying with Mr. Kelly.” I say, surprising myself. Going against orders from a teacher? Most people would say that that isn’t me, but that little shove against authority somehow felt more genuine to me than any other thing I’ve done in my life. I am somehow more  _ me _ . I stand up, realizing the conversation is over. Sarah follows suit. As we head for the door, I hear Mr. Pulitzer say one last thing. “Send Mr. Kelly in.” Exiting the office, I shiver slightly.

“Jack, Mr. Pulitzer says to come in.” I tell Jack, sitting down in my chair from before.

“Thanks Davey.” He stands up and disappears inside the principal’s office.

"That was super cool of you, David." Sarah comments.

"What was?" I ask.

"Standing up to Pulitzer like that. I'm proud of you."

"Proud enough to start calling me Davey?"

"Maybe." Sarah smirks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I give up on things super easily so I think this chapter is just me telling myself to continue posting before I give up


	5. Crutchie and Davey are best bros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crutchie and Davey have a nice talk over text.

**private message from gaygaygaygay to DaveyJacobs**

**gaygaygaygay: hey davey! what did pulitzer want with you and sarah and jack?**

**DaveyJacobs: He warned us not be be friends with Jack, and all Jack would tell me is that Mr. Pulitzer told him to should stop “corrupting people”.**

**gaygaygaygay: corrupt them with gayness or some shit??? lol**

**DaveyJacobs: Lol maybe he thinks we’re going to turn into one giant army of Jack Kellys**

**gaygaygaygay: lol imagine that**

**gaygaygaygay: hey so uh weird random question do you like jack? like ask him out like jack?**

**DaveyJacobs: No**

**DaveyJacobs: And I think you should just tell Jack how you feel**

**gaygaygaygay: um whaaaaaaat**

**DaveyJacobs: It’s pretty obvious you like each other**

**gaygaygaygay: WHAAAAAAT THAT’S CRAAAAZZZZYYYY**

**DaveyJacobs: Crutchie, it’s okay. I’m not going to judge you.**

**gaygaygaygay: falling for your best friend is super cliche and awkward! HELP ME I SERIOUSLY DONT THINK HE LIKES ME LIKE THAT**

**DaveyJacobs: Okay Crutchie, calm down a little bit. It’s going to be okay. I think he feels the same way. The way you two look at each other seems like it’s out of a movie. I think when you feel ready you should tell Jack how you feel. There is no problem with being you, there is nothing wrong with you, you are perfect just the way you are.**

**gaygaygaygay: thanks davey**

**DaveyJacobs: Anytime you need to talk, I’m here. ;)**

**gaygaygaygay: thanks you for being so great! anyways i just realized how late it is lol ill see you at school 2morrow**

**DaveyJacobs: See you tomorrow! :)**


	6. Finally these clueless gays get together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crutchie loves the rain, and he and Jack decide they need to talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some jackcrutchie fluff!

Crutchie

I love the rain. It’s a rainy day today, and I’m excited. Since Manhattan High is an outdoor campus, I get to be in the rain in between classes and at lunch. It’s lunch now, and I'm trying to convince Jack to come out in the rain with me.

“C’mon Jack!” I pull on his arm, tugging at his shirt sleeve.

“I don’t wanna get my hat wet!” He protests, trying to free his arm from my grasp.

“Jack! That’s a stupid excuse!” I complain.

“Well, I also don’t want you’se getting hurt! What if you slip and fall?” He says, finally managing to pull his arm away.

“Jack! Don’t treat me like I’se is some kid!”

“Says the guy wanting to go out and play in the rain!”

“Fine! I’se is gonna get Davey to come with me. Whaddaya say Dave?” I turn to Davey.

“Sorry Crutchie, my mom will get really mad if I get all wet.” He says, apologetic.

“Racer?” I turn to Racetrack, who is sitting in Albert’s lap.

“Yeah, Crutch! Let’s go!” He says, bolting up. I ignore Jack’s protests as Race and I step out from under the overhang protecting the lunch tables from the rain. We soak in the magic of it for a while, ignoring the stares of everyone else. At one point, I hop onto Race’s shoulders and he runs around for a bit, me on his back, the both of us shouting with glee. Jack rolls his eyes. The bell to end lunch rings, and Race sets me down next to the table again. Everyone disperses except for me and Jack. We have science together next, and he’s still packing up his satchel. We walk into the rain together, and Jack opens up an umbrella over us. We walk in silence, but I can tell he has something on his mind. We stop in front of room 706, and Jack closes his umbrella. We stand there for a moment, the rain falling softly around us, staring into each other’s eyes.

“Jack…” I start to say. I don’t know what I’m doing. Maybe it’s because of what Davey said two days ago, or maybe it’s because I’ve been holding it in for so long, but for some reason I feel like I need to tell Jack how I feel about him. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship or anything, but I really need to talk to you.”

“I know, Crutch. Me too.” He says. We’re staring into each other’s eyes, leaning closer. Before I even know what I’m doing, I press my lips onto Jack’s. And he’s kissing back. It’s the best I’ve ever felt in my life. The rain pouring down, soaking into our hair and clothes, Jack wrapping his hands around my waist, me, pulling Jack’s cap off of his head and running my hands through his hair, everything just feels so right. We pull away, and I can’t hide the huge grin sweeping across my face.

“Ya know, Crutch, I don’t really feel like going to science.” Jack says, smirking.

“Ya know Jack, me either.” I reply. He takes my hand, and we walk to the parking lot together. We’re both grinning like crazy. When we make it to the parking lot, we mount Jack’s motorcycle, me swinging my crutch onto the side with practiced ease, and we ride. We don’t go anywhere in particular, we just ride through the streets of New York, past shops and tourists, restaurants and cafes. The wind and rain whipping our faces, our teenage love fueling us. Everything is perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments or kudos!


	7. Back to the group chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crutchie and Jack announce their relationship on the groupchat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated contact name list:  
> Santa Feeeeeee: Jack  
> gaygaygaygay: Crutchie  
> DaveyJacobs: Davey  
> LesbianLordAndSavior: Sarah  
> yer erster: Race  
> Alastor Moody: Albert  
> S P O T: Spot  
> Writing Queen: Katherine  
> CAW CAW BIOTCH: Finch  
> button_me_up: Buttons  
> comeatmebro: Smalls  
> snipey: Sniper  
> theresaholeinthebucket: Henry  
> jojojojojojojojojo: JoJo  
> yIKEs: Ike  
> mikey mouse: Mike  
> blindboi: Specs  
> whereforeartthou: Romeo  
> dontblink: Blink  
> mushroom: Mush  
> nyoom: Hot Shot  
> t boi: Tommy Boy

**seize that day**

**gaygaygaygay: okay guys big announcement!!!**

**yer erster: YOURE PREGNANT**

**Santa Feeeeeee: CRUTCHIE AND I ARE OFFICIALLY DATING**

LesbianLordAndSavior: YAYYYYYYY!!!!!!

**Alastor Moody: finally**

**whereforeartthou: yeah that took forver**

**gaygaygaygay: thanks a lot romeo**

**gaygaygaygay: just how long did it take you and specs?**

**DaveyJacobs: Congrats guys!**

**Writing Queen: Are you guys seriously going to have an argument over how long it took everyone to get together?**

**yer erster: yes**

**Santa Feeeeeee: shut up race you claimed you hated al for like 3 years**

**yer erster: yknow what**

**Santa Feeeeeee: i knew i loved crutchie from the beginning**

**gaygaygaygay: *insert heart emoji***

**Alastor Moody: WOW ARENT THEY THE CUTEST COUPLE EVER**

**Alastor Moody: GIVE THEM THE CUTEST COUPLE AWARD**

**Alastor Moody: I CANT THINK OF ANY OTHER COUPLE IN THIS GROUPCHAT THAT IS ADORABLE**

**Alastor Moody: OH WAIT I CAN**

**Alastor Moody: ME AND RACETRACK FUCKING HIGGINS**

**yer ertser: ALBERT IS THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER SPREAD THE WORD**

**dontblink: UH HUH SURE… HAVE YOU SEEN MUSH????**

**dontblink: HES OBVIOUSLY THE BEST!!!!**

**mushroom: awwwww thanks blink**

**gaygaygaygay changed the chat name to “seize that gay”**

**gaygaygaygay: since were all useless lesbians**

**comeatmebro: im #offended**

**LesbianLordAndSavior: me too**

**Writing Queen: me too**

**snipey: me too**

**gaygaygaygay: oof sorry**

**gaygaygaygay: i didn't mean to say lesbians are useless you're all wonderful strong independent queens slay**

**Writing Queen: don't try to mansplain to us how cool we are**

**gaygaygaygay: IM SORRY PLEASE JUST FORGIVE ME**

**gaygaygaygay: I DIDNT MEAN TO OFFEND YOU IM SORRY**

**LesbianLordAndSavior: lesbian power group lets vote on whether or not we should shun him**

**LesbianLordAndSavior: all in favor say aye, all opposed say nay**

**snipey: it was an accident, so nay**

**comeatmebro: crutchies chill so nay**

**LesbianLordAndSavior: watch me nay nay**

**Writing Queen: nay on crutchie but now i want to shun sarah**

**DaveyJacobs: aye on shunning sarah**

**LesbianLordAndSavior: SHUT UP HEATHER**

**Alastor Moody: SHUT UP JESSE**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	8. JoJo is my son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JoJo gets detention and Crutchie gets an idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized that JoJo's last name is super close alphabetically to Morris and Oscar's (DeLa Guerra and Delancey) so I was like "gee seating charts must suck for him" so here ya go (this chapter is a mess i didn't really edit I'm just trying to update)

JoJo

I hate seating charts. I’ve hated them basically my entire life. And I don’t just hate them because I don’t always get to sit next to my friends, I do occasionally get to sit next to Albert or even Finch, but no matter who sits to my right, one of the Delancey brothers is always on my left. My last name is DeLa Guerra, which means I’se is always next to a Delancey. Because my rotten luck always puts me in a class with at least one of them. I’se is in English right now, but the problem is the only other person in class that I know is Henry, but his last name starts with a T, so we’se is on opposite sides of the room. English is a drag, but it’s even worse thanks to my wonderful last name. I sit next to Morris. Yay. I try to focus on what Mr. Reid is writing on the board, but it’s hard to concentrate when Morris keeps poking me with the sharp tip of his mechanical pencil and whispering insults at me. I can’t take it anymore. He has gone too far this time.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I yell a bit too loudly at Morris. Everyone stares at me, and I feel my face grow hot.

“Mr. DeLa Guerra, is there something you would like to share with the class?” Mr. Reid asks pointedly.

“Yes. I would like to share that Morris Delancey, despite being a huge dick in the way that he is a horrible person, has a very small dick.” I say proudly.

“One month of detention, Mr. DeLa Guerra.” Mr. Reid replies, dropping a pink detention slip on my desk. I take it proudly and ignore Morris smirking at me. I’m fidgety for the rest of the class.

 

 

“He seriously gave you a detention for that?” Jack asks incredulously at lunch.

“Yeah.” I respond, sprinkling the cheese on my Lunchables pizza. Don’t judge me. I’se is only doing it because Race bet me 25 dollars I wouldn’t eat Lunchables for the whole school year.

“They can’t just do that, can they?” Davey asks.

“Technically, they can. He did publicly yell at Morris and curse in class.” Henry says.

“Yeah, well it ain’t right!” Jack shouts, slamming his hand down on the lunch table.

“Jack, calm down.” Katherine says. “It is unfair that Morris didn’t get detention for being horrible, but it’s not like JoJo is completely innocent.

“Well I’se is sorry for standing up for myself!” I say sarcastically.

“That’s not what-” Katherine starts to say.

“What about a talent show?” Crutchie suggests, interrupting Katherine,

“Crutchie, what the actual fuck.” Race says.

“C’mon, don’t pretend like it’s not a good idea.” Crutchie is grinning, but the rest of us are all just looking at him, confused. “We hold a talent show,” Crutchie explains, “But we use the money from the tickets and refreshments to fund the GSA!”

“And we use that GSA money for…?” Ike asks skeptically.

“I dunno!” Crutchie exclaims, still smiling wide.

“We could use it to buy pride buttons.” Davey says, a smile slowly forming on his face. “And give them to allies and members of the LGBT community. Then Pulitzer will see that letting homophobia happen affects all of us.”

“That would be awesome!” I exclaim. “We can do genderbent songs like Broadway Cares does!”

“Schuyler Sisters?” Albert says slyly, grinning at me. I return the smile with my own.

“You know it!” I reply excitedly.

“Angelica!” Albert sings, standing up on the bench of the lunch table.

“I’m sure we can all work out what acts we’ll be doing later, but shouldn’t we ask Miss Medda first?” Davey points out.

“I can.” I supply. “I have her for detention today.”

“Great!” Crutchie says.

“Are we just going to ignore the fact that although it’s a great idea, it has virtually nothing to do with what happened to JoJo?” Katherine asks.

“Yes.” Elmer says firmly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are very welcome!


	9. Send help this group chat is crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group chat is a mess

**seize that gay**

**jojojojojojojojojo: we can do the talent show!!!!!**

**nyoom: yeet bro!**

**mikey mouse: hot shot what**

**nyoom: race owes me 5 dollars**

**yer erster: damn i was sure he wouldnt say it**

**mikey mouse: okay good race made you say it i was worried for a seocnd i would have to break up with you**

**gaygaygaygay: standards**

**Santa Feeeeeee: so um we gonna just free for all claim songs**

**Santa Feeeeeee: because i am doing a disnye power medley and no one can stop me**

**DaveyJacobs: “disnye”**

**Santa Feeeeeee: whatever dave**

**S P O T: lol**

**Santa Feeeeeee: fight me**

**comeatmebro: FIGHT**

**Alastor Moody: FIGHT**

**yer erster: FIGHT**

**DaveyJacobs: FIGHT**

**jojojojojojojojojo: FIGHT**

**mikey mouse: FIGHT**

**gaygaygaygay: FIGHT**

**yIKEs: FIGHT**

**nyoom: FIGHT**

**CAW CAW BIOTCH: FIGHT**

**Writing Queen: FIGHT**

**button_me_up: FIGHT**

**snipey: FIGHT**

**S P O T: *sending virtual punch***

**Santa Feeeeeee: *recieving virtual pain***

**Santa Feeeeeee: *sending virtual kick***

**gaygaygaygay: you guys live together you can actually fight**

**S P O T: dont be silly you dont want me accidentally murdering your boyfriend**

**gaygaygaygay: ill protect him**

**Alastor Moody: *cue sitcom “awwwwww” sound effect***

**LesbianLordAndSavior: hi there freeze your brain is mine**

**Alastor Moody: id rather be me biotches**

**yer erster: dave and i are doing take me or leave me**

**yer erster: no homo tho**

**yer erster: i forever love albert**

**Alastor Moody: also schuyler sisters**

**Alstor Moody: ANGELICA!**

**yer erster: ELIZA!**

**jojojojojojojojojojojojojo: AND PEGGY**

**Writing Queen: and aaron burr**


	10. LET IT GROW

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's just a random useless chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead! I'm still here, writing away, planning on updating when I can.

**seize that gay**

**gaygaygaygay: you don't know me**

**DaveyJacobs: but my name's Cy**

**nyoom: im just the ohare**

**mikey mouse: delivery guy**

**Writing Queen: but it seems like trees might be worth a try**

**button_me_up: so i say**

**CAW CAW BIOTCH: let it grow**

**Alastor Moody: my name is dan**

**yer erster: and my names rose**

**Alastor Moody: our son wesley kind of glows**

**yer erster: our son wesley kind of glows**

**yer erster: and thats not good so we suppose**

**Alastor Moody: and thats not good so we suppose**

**yer erster: we should let it grow**

**Alastor Moody: we should let it grow**

**S P O T: end me please**

**yer erster: but we can't let it die!  
**

**comeatmebro: LET IT DIE LET IT DIE LET IT SHRIVEL UP AND DIE**

**snipes: cmon, who's with me?**

**yIKEs: nobody**

**jojojojojojojojojo: YOU GREEDY DIRTBAG!**

**gaygaygaygay: LET IT GROW**

**blindboi: LET IT GROW**

**whereforeartthou: LET IT GROW**

**theresaholeinthebucket: LET IT GROW**

**nyoom: LET IT GROW**

**S P O T has left the chat**

**yer erster has added S P O T to the chat**


	11. I love my gay sons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Race, JoJo, Albert, and Elmer help Spot with a problem.

**yer erster has created a new group**

**yer erster has named the group "spot conlon support squad"**

**yer erster: alright hoes i created this group so we can help my dear old brother with a little problem he has**

**yer erster: spot?**

**S P O T: no.**

**yer erster: spot you need help**

**S P O T: FINE WHATEVER I LIKE DAVEY WHATS WRONG WITH THAT**

**Alastor Moody: oooooooh**

**S P O T: shut up al**

**Alastor Moody: hey i don't blame you he's very hot**

**elmoo: hell yeah he is**

**yer erster: yeah honestly hes super attractive**

**jojojojojojojojojo: yeet**

**S P O T: all of you are dating people**

**elmoo: all of us?**

**S P O T: i count you and knobs as a couple because all you useless lesbians do is flirt**

**elmoo: ANYWAYS**

**elmoo: DAVEY**

**S P O T: yeah he probably doesn't like me back so we can forget it all now**

**yer erster: i wouldnt say that too fast...**

**yer erster: i can go undercover behind enemy lines**

**yer ertser: find out the deets**

**Alastor Moody: no one says that anymore race**

**yer erster: awwww you still love me**

**Alastor Moody: can't stop loving you**

**S P O T: this sure is making me feel better about myself**


	12. The Heathers Chapter Part One And Sarah Makes An Entrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miss Medda is in a meeting during theatre class and there is no substitute teacher. The newsies make a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when I started writing this I didn’t include Sarah because I wasn’t really familiar with her character and didn’t want to write her wrong, now that I’m more confident about writing her, I want to add her to this fic. Long story short, i don’t want to rewrite the first eleven chapters because im lazy so I’m making an excuse about why she wasn’t here until now. Sorry if this is confusing within plot!

 

Race's POV

”Miss Medda is in a meeting today so we’re on our own for class.” Jack announces to the classroom at large.

”No substitute teacher?” JoJo asks.

”Nope!” Crutchie confirms.

”Perfect!” I rub my hands together and jump on a nearby chair. “Everyone! Today, I, Racetrack Higgins, your loyal theatre teacher, am proud to announce that we will be doing an impromptu performance of Heathers. Today is a double class and we have after school time until five, so we have quite a bit of time. Come to me if you want to be cast, go to Crutchie and Ike if you want to do tech, and someone please get a copy of the script.” I shout, and Albert immediately hands me a sheet of notebook paper as people swarm around me. I write down all the character names on one side of the paper.

”Race, I’m playing Heather Chandler, and you’re not stopping me.” Katherine, the first in line says.

”Of course! I’ve heard you sing before!” I say, putting her name down next to Heather Chandler’s on the list.

”JD.” Is all Jack says. I nod and write it down. I’ve heard him singing Freeze Your Brain more times than I can count. I mark myself down for Heather Duke, because I know I can pull off drag and it’s been my dream to play her for years, and Sniper asks to play Martha. I oblige, writing her name down as soon as she asks. JoJo and Buttons Rock Paper Scissors over Heather MacNamara, and JoJo wins. I write down Albert as Kurt Kelly without his permission, and put Mike as Ram Sweeney. And then I realize something

We have no costumes.

”Romeo, Specs, Finch! Costumes!” I shout.

 

 

”Costumes over here!” Romeo shouts, reentering the room with Specs and Finch. they are all carrying giant bundles of clothes.

”Sarah, go talk to Jack about boundaries. I’m not quite sure how you feel about Dead Girl Walking...” I say.

”Yeah, we’ll figure something out.” Sarah wanders off to go talk to Jack, and I go over to where Romeo, Specs, and Finch are sorting through skirts. Finch hands me a green one.

”See if this fits.” He says.

”Why do we have all of these perfect costumes for Heathers?” Sniper asks, examining a unicorn sweatshirt.

”I had some spare stuff from Halloween shopping in my car, and some of the things are items the school just happened to have.” Specs says, shrugging.

”You went Halloween shopping for  the entire wardrobe of Heathers in September?” I ask.

”It’s almost October, and I had just eaten five jumbo Pixie Sticks.”

”Not an excuse, but okay.” I say, gathering up the rest of the green ensemble and heading for the bathroom. I find Albert looking in the mirror, adjusting his hair and fiddling with his Letterman jacket.

”If you wait a minute or two you’ll be the first one to see me I costume.” I say, slipping into a stall and treasuring the confused look on Albert’s face. I love my boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I haven’t updated in a while! I promise more chapters soon!


	13. VERY IMPORTANT DON'T SKIP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T SKIP THIS CHAPTER PLEASE

alright so i rewrote the first 12 chapters of this because the whole thing with sarah just showing up was confusing and made everyone totally out of character, so i strongly recommend rereading everything. however, if you don't want to reread 12 chapters of whatever this is, long story short sarah started at the high school when davey did. also, spot is in their theatre class and he and davey have been hanging out for a while sorry that theres no chapter for that. thank you for reading, and i promise there will be a new chapter soon!


	14. The Heathers Chapter Part Two

Katherine

"More hips, JoJo!" Crutchie directs from the front row of seats.

"Crutchie, you don't even like Heathers! How can you tell us what to do?" Race calls back from the stage.

"I know enough about it to know that JoJo needs to thrust his hips more!" Crutchie argues back.

"Back to one." I sigh, motioning for Ike to start the music again. Ike presses a button on Romeo's phone, resetting the karaoke version of "Candy Store" as we reset our positions. I stand cheating out to the audience in front of Sarah, and Race and JoJo stand behind me. I take a deep breath, getting back into character.

I am Heather Chandler.

I am the queen of this school, people bend to my will, do what I want.

I am who everyone wants, who everyone wishes to be.

I have power.

"Are we gonna have a problem? You got a bone to pick? You've come so far, why now, are you pulling on my dick?" I take a step towards Veronica. "I'd normally slap your face off, and everyone here could watch. But I'm feeling nice, here's some advice, listen up, BIOTCH!"

As the music kicks in, Duke, McNamara and I swing our hips in perfect rhythm.

"I like!" Duke and McNamara chorus together.

"Lookin' hot, buyin' stuff they cannot!"

"I like!"

"Drinkin' hard, maxin' Dad's credit card!"

"I like!"

"Skippin' gym, scarin' her" I stalk to where the student body is gathered, and shove my finger into Smalls' chest. "Screwin' him!" I thrust my hips at Spot.

"I like!"

"Killer clothes," I flounce my skirt a bit as I traipse back to Duke and McNamara.

"Kicking nerds in the nose!" We all kick up to our faces at once, and Veronica jumps back a bit in shock. I smirk at her.

"If you lack the balls, you can go play dolls, let your mommy fix you a snack!"

"Woah!"

"Or you could come smoke-"

"EVERYONE STOP!!!" A shout reverberates through the theatre, and Ike cuts the music. We all simultaneously look towards the door of the theatre and see Hot Shot sprint in, panting hard.

"What is it?" I ask, still partly in Heather Chandler mode.

"THEY'RE COMING!!!" Hot Shot shouts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooh a cliffhanger guess we'll have to wait and see who's coming next chapter...


	15. The Heathers Chapter Part Three

Sarah

"Who's coming?" I ask as Hot Shot climbs up onto the stage.

"Miss Medda is stalling them, but we only have fifteen minutes!" He gasps.

"Hot Shot, breathe." Mike directs, putting an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders. Hot Shot takes a few deep breaths before speaking again.

"Miss Medda was in a meeting with Pulitzer and the school board about funding for the theatre program and Pulitzer wants to cut all the funding but Roosevelt didn't want to but now they're like 'if it's such a good program they must have a show ready right now this second to perform to show why we shouldn't cut funding' which is bullshit but now we have to perform a full show in fifteen minutes or there's no more theatre program." Hot Shot says everything at once, talking a mile a minute.

"What?" Jack asks. "They can't do that!"

"Pulitzer's reasoning is that since at this time last year there was a play, we must already have an entire production." Hot Shot explains.

"So what do we do?" Ike asks.

"Perform Heathers." Race says valiantly.

"In front of my father?" Katherine asks.

"And Roosevelt, the president of the school board?" JoJo asks.

"And the football team and cheer squad!" Blink shouts, cartwheeling into the theatre in his cheerleading uniform.

"What?" I don't think I've been more stressed in my life. Fifteen minutes to prepare to put on a production we've spent a whole two hours on, that I'll be the lead of, in front of school officials.

"Practice ended early so we wanna check out the show!" Blink bounds up to the stage. "Anything we can do to help?"

"We could use more ensemble members." Jack pipes up.

"I know how to sing!" Mush announces, also walking in.

"Great. Crutchie, grab the cast list and make sure everything is sorted out. Cast whatever sports people and cheer people we need for ensemble. Sarah, Jack, please go figure out what the fuck you're doing for Dead Girl Walking. JoJo, find something we can use for the car for Blue. Mike, you and Hot Shot are on prop set up. Ike, figure out light cues with Katherine. Romeo, Specs, make sure everyone has a costume. Tommy Boy, I will owe you ten hugs if you make playbills." Race calls to everyone. He then goes into the wings. I see him put his hands on Albert's shoulders. Hopefully not because Albert is having a panic attack and just because Race loves his boyfriend.

"Jack, let's go talk in the classroom?" I ask.

"Wait for me!" Romeo shouts as we exit. "I need to make sure you have all your costumes!"

Romeo decides that the best way to measure me for costumes is by holding up random pieces of clothing in front of my body while I'm trying to have a serious conversation with Jack.

"What are you thinking we should do?" Jack asks.

"Have Crutchie flash the lights a lot?”

“He’ll love that.” Romeo says, rolling his eyes and pulling a hair curling iron out from who knows where. He plugs it into the wall and takes my hair out of it’s normal ponytail.

“You’re not even gonna ask, Romeo? You’re just gonna start curling my hair with no warning?” I ask.

“We have fifteen minutes until the show. I figured you’d say yes anyway.” Romeo shrugs.

“Consent!” I remind him as he takes a lock of my hair and wraps it around the hot metal.

“So just go crazy with the lights? That’s it?” Jack asks.

“Well if you think I’m gonna-”

“No! Not like that! Jus’, don’t we need to also discuss all the other scenes where Veronica and JD kiss?”

“We stage kiss.” I say.

“Okay.”

“You guys are sooooo bad at communication.” Romeo comments, letting another curl fall loose from the iron.

“What do you mean?” Jack asks.

“Flash the lights! Let’s just wing it!” Romeo says in a high pitched tone. “Set boundaries!" He says in his normal voice. "Jack has a boyfriend, you have Katherine…”

“Katherine and I aren’t-” I start to protest.

“Oh, please.” Romeo laughs. “Don’t give me that ‘she probably doesn’t like me’ shit that Jack and Crutchie had goin’ on. Tell her ya like her, she’ll say the same.”

“But-”

“Now onto Heathers. What are you guys comfortable with?”

“I’se fine if ya wanna take off my shirt.” Jack smirks.

“You’re not taking off mine.” I say firmly, crossing my arms.

“Good! We’re getting somewhere!” Romeo encourages, grabbing a can of hairspray. Where is he getting all of these hair care supplies from?

“So, I’ll go tell Crutchie what to do with the lights?” Jack heads for the door.

“Yeah, okay.” I say, watching him go.

“So when are you asking out Katherine?” Romeo asks.

“When my anxiety takes a vacation?” I suggest.

“Sarah, it’s obvious she likes you.” Romeo says over the sound of him shaking the can of hairspray.

“How do I even ask her out? I’ve never asked anyone out before.” I sigh.

“Get down on one knee. Declare your love for her with a passionate speech, and ask her out to a debutante ball your family is throwing for you even though you secretly despise the idea of a fancy party and they’re expecting you to bring a boy, sneak out of the party and have your first kiss under the moonlight in the center of a beautiful garden blooming with red roses and pink petunias.”

“That’s oddly specific. Planning anything with Specs?”

“Nah, not really. I actually got that idea from a fanfiction about Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter that I’m writing.” Romeo says casually, spraying a cloud of fog around my hair. I cough a few times, squeezing my eyes shut. I can smell the familiar fumes of the hairspray, and when the cloud clears Romeo walks around me a few times, fluffing my hair in certain places.

“Perfect!” He announces. “Even prettier than Barrett Wilbert Weed herself!” I blush.

“I’m gonna go talk to Crutchie and take a look at the complete cast list.” I say, turning away from Romeo to leave.

“Wait! First, show and tell me your costumes, what order you wear them, and explain to me how you will apply your dirt and bruise makeup.” Romeo orders. I sigh and do as he says. It’ll take five minutes we don’t have, but it will probably save my ass onstage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter we'll see albert thinking everyone hates him


	16. The Heathers Chapter Part Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be backstory stuff to fill in what happened junior high and freshman year with albert added soon

Albert

“Race, I can’t do this.” I say desperately, my breathing increasing way too fast.   


“Do what? Be in Heathers?” Race asks. I nod. “Why not?”   


“I can’t be Kurt.” I say simply, trying to steady my shaking hands. Race takes my hands in his.   


“Why not, sweetheart? Do you not wanna wear only your boxers onstage? Because I’m sure-“   


“I can’t be Kurt because I used to be Kurt.”   


“Al-“   


“You remember! I was horrible to you! To everyone! I was friends with the Delancey brothers, Race.”   


“But you’re not like that anymore!”   


“Everything Kurt says, every sexist and homophobic comment he makes, that used to be me. And I can’t go onstage and show that side of me again.” I start to walk away, pulling off my letterman jacket.

“Albert, wait!” Race catches my arm, stopping me in my tracks. “Everyone knows you’ve changed. You’re a different person now.”   


“That doesn’t change the fact that I’ve real bullied everyone I have to fake bully.”   


“You haven’t sexually harassed anyone, so ya got that goin’ for ya.”   


“Race. Not the point. I’ve bullied Jack for being gay. I’ve bullied Sniper for not being as skinny as a pencil. I’ve bullied Finch for being a nerd. I was a shitty person, and now I have to put that out onstage for the whole world to see. The principal. The school board. All of my old football teammates that made me a shitty person.”   


“Albert. Look into my eyes.” Race puts his hands in my shoulders and faces me directly. “You are not a shitty person. Yeah, you used to be, but you’re different now. You apologized, and it took a while, but all of these people are your friends now. They forgave you. You’re the best boyfriend I could ever ask for, so don’t tell yourself you’re not.”   


“Thanks, Race. But I still feel like when I go out onstage everyone will just hate me all over again.”   


“Talk to them then. Who are you worried about?”   


“Sniper."   


“Then go talk to her. Can you do that for me? And if you still feel like shit, I’ve got an inspirational playlist waiting for you.”   


“Okay.” Race let’s go of my shoulders and I wander further backstage in the hopes of finding Sniper. I find her and Smalls kissing near a stack of chairs. I clear my throat awkwardly, and they pull apart, both of them looking annoyed.   


“Sorry to uh, interrupt, but I was hoping I could talk to Sniper?” I play with the zipper of my jacket nervously. Smalls glares at me before walking away.   


“Hey Albert.” Sniper says.   


“Hey. Listen, Sniper I just feel like I need to apologize. I know it was years ago, but I seriously hurt you, and that’s not alright. I’m really sorry. If I could go back to 8th grade and change one thing, I would ditch all of my ‘friends’ and stop being such a dick to you.”   


“Albert, you apologized years ago. It’s fine.” Sniper says nonchalantly.   


“I still feel like a shitbag.”   


“You were a shitbag, but you’re not anymore. You admitted that what you did was wrong, and it was wrong. Saying sorry doesn’t make it right, but I know you’re a different person now. What’s happening between Kurt and Martha is not what’s happening between Albert and Sniper. Okay?”   


“Okay?” It’s not okay. It’s not okay at all because what I did was horrible and I can never undo that.   


“Albert, you’re not Kurt.” Sniper emphasizes. “You’re a good person. Kurt felt no regrets, you do. Kurt didn’t ask for forgiveness, Kurt didn’t admit he was a dick, but you did. You changed.”   


“Thank you for being so nice to me, Sniper. I really don’t deserve it.”   


“Hey! Don’t say that! You totally deserve it! Now go ask Race for that inspirational playlist! We only have about ten minutes until curtain!”   


“See you onstage, Snipes.”   


“You as well, Al.” I walk away, feeling slightly better about myself. I cross back to the other side of the wings. Race already has his earbuds plugged in, one in his ear. He puts the other in mine, and I can hear “I’d Rather Be Me” start to play. I roll my eyes and shove Race against the wall, pressing my lips onto his. We kiss for a few moments, but then pull away. We have work to do.

"I'm gonna go talk to Mike about Blue." I say, planting a kiss on Race's cheek before going down to the third row of seats where Mike is talking with Davey and Spot.

"Hey, son." Spot says, clapping me on the shoulder when I walk up.

"You'se playing Kurt's dad?" I ask. He nods. "And you'se is gonna be Ram's dad?" I ask Davey. "How's that gonna work? Davey, no offense, but I'm not quite sure how well you'll be able to handle the whole "abusive toxically masculine father" role."

"Don't fuck with me." Davey says in a surprisingly deep voice, lunging towards me and pulling off the ground my the collar of my shirt. He blushes and lets me go immediately, and I stand there, shocked. "Sorry." He mumbles.

"Don't apologize!" I say, still stunned. "That was great!"

"Thanks." Davey blushes again.

"Turn off the blushing though?" I ask, laughing a bit.

"Right." Davey nods seriously.

"Anyways, I just came over to talk to Mike about how comfortable he is with us shoving our balls at each other during Blue."

"Comfortable, I guess?" Mike says. "I mean, we both have boyfriends and it's just acting so..."

"Cool." I say, running my fingers through my hair. "And I guess we should figure out stage combat for right before Big Fun too." I say to Davey and Spot.

"It's not really much combat." Spot shrugs. "Davey'll grab ya an' I'll punch ya."

"Great." I say sarcastically.

"It's not like we time to plan much else." Spot says.

"True."

"FIVE MINUTE CALL!" Crutchie shouts.

"Thanks 5!" A chorus of people shout back.

"This is gonna be a shitshow. Worse than illegal Heathers." Mike says, shaking his head sadly.

"You're probably right." We all troop up to the stage as the football team, cheer team, Mr. Pulitzer, and the school board enter the theatre. I note that they're all holding playbills. Tommy Boy is fantastic. We all congregate backstage, throwing props and moving chairs. Crutchie is politely screaming at Jack to get his shit together. I stand next to Race and take his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is crutchie!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave kudos or comment! (Also, the oregano thing totally happened in my theatre class I'm sorry if it's too long I just had to)


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